If not us, then who?

India has a way of taking what you think you've got sorted in life and just throwing that all out the window, replacing it with a totally different outlook on life/future, only then to have it changed once again just a few days later after a chance conversation or sighting in the streets. If you were to have talked to me after only my first day in Kolkata you would have been hearing all about how inspired I was after visiting Mother Teresa's house and how her humility and acts of faith made me realise how egocentric my life and faith had been to this date. This simple trip to her museum had put my focus on giving to all those unloved/unwanted or hurting in life.

Fast forward a few days to a conversation I had while wandering the eerie Park Street Cemetary. With the young street boy's death in the back of my mind and the large gravestones around us, it didn't take long before I begin to doubt people's effect on this world. Everyone's going to die and from a medical or helping viewpoint, although you may in a sense heal people they are still going to die. Sorry for the morbid thoughts but it's something that you can't seem to escape while traveling India. If what we do won't make a lasting effect (e.g. as much as we'd like to think it did, our day contact with the kids from Future Hope or Brooklyn won't have affected or brightened their future in any way) then what is important in life?

Should it be our duty, having experienced India, to come back here for an extended period to spend time with a group of people so we can impact or try improve their lives? Being bought up in a sheltered Epsom life it would seem the answer to this is easy. However, as I had pointed out to me, all we need to do is look around and we will discover similar problems facing many people in our own country whether that be poverty or the sex trade. Why then are we needing to head overseas to make a change when we can do far greater help in our own country while at the same time being around family and friends, arguably the people we can have the biggest effect on.?

The idea of family and friends being the most important things you can focus on and change in your life has been my thinking now from that walk in the graveyard to this morning. This being India however all it took for me to rethink this once again was a side note of Skeens during another random conversation, plus a soothing massage I had today from an Indian man in the Day Spa at our hotel. Last night over dinner Skeen brought to our attention that we were 1 of only 57 boys to have done this trip to India and experienced the sights, sounds, and people. This idea, along with his side note to me about how India hadn't changed since 13 years ago when he first came to this country and fell in love with it, sat pondering with me. I thought more about it while being sensually rubbed down by some Indian man, and then it clicked - if not us, then who? We are one of a few boys our age lucky enough to experience this amazing country and everything it has to offer but with that also comes with the responsibility for us to do something about its problems. The people here don't seem to be moving for change at any pace and we can't rely on those that haven't experienced first hand the problems the country faces. Does this then put the responsibility of us 22 boys to make a change in a country in desperate need? 

So that's where I'm at the moment, but I'm expecting to do a few more full turns in my way of thinking as I continue to experience India and all it has to offer, and continue having conversations with the boys. Hopefully you could interpret some of what I've been wrestling with these past 10 days?!?! Sorry for the long blog but difficult to summarise all the stuff above but as someone once told me, India will leave you with more questions than answers and at some point you are just going to have to accept that and move on hahaha.

William