Lord Younis

Young Timothy and I decided we wanted to purchase a tailored shirt on
our last day in Mumbai. Having unsuccessfully asked one shop if they
had superb paisley material, we were nabbed by a runner for another
tailor, telling us to go to his. We followed for what seemed like
hours, down many dark alleys and urine smelling walkways to finally
arrive at a dungeon of sorts. The boss, sorry Lord, of the shop was an
immensely built man, had deeply set eyes and a fresh tattoo of his own
name on his arm. In the shop were the rest of his goons, not speaking
English they simply watched us the whole time as we spluttered our way
through some Masala chai, 'you don't mess with Younis' glared from
their eyes. We could not leave without a purchase. Having given us a
more than generous price of 2500 rupees per shirt, thank you Lord
Younis, oh Great One, we would be nothing without you, your wisdom has
guided us through many a dark time..., he summoned his measure-man via
a phone call and a man arrived within seconds. After a quick shove
against a wall, the tailor took our measurements and barked them to
Younis who wrote them down. We promptly paid half of the total price,
to pay the other half on pick up when we arrive back in Mumbai for the
day (please, oh Train God, do not let our train be cancelled). We then
walked the gauntlet back out the store, with bullet holes being stared
into the back of our head, knowing to escape with our lives was a
success.

NB: Younis was actually very friendly and had made the suit for Ross
Taylor for his wedding, he showed us pictures I'll have you know. He
also loved New Zealand. His shop was also just off the Causeway. There
was no shoving. His employee did also make a delightful chai. But he
definitely, maybe, could've been a gang lord. Possibly. Probably not.
He wasn't.

See you on the 3rd to pick up our goods, Younis <3.

Reuben