Reuben McGregor-Sumpter

I went to India in the hope of gaining a greater knowledge of how the world works, and dreaming that the idea of how life should be lived would crystallise in my mind. I questioned everything. In short, I hoped India would give me answers - that I would have some great moment of awakening and suddenly the path to success and happiness would become clear.

 

Fast forward two months and I sit here none the wiser on how life should be lived; if anything, I have more questions than answers. It’s the exact same feeling I had sitting in my bedroom on the second night in Kolkata, except back then the feeling was coupled with a bolt of frustration as it became apparent that my questions of ‘how it all worked’ were multiplying and my answers were at the same number they were when I left Auckland – zero.

 

I’m unsure when I finally realised; indeed, there was certainly no ‘great moment of awakening’ like I had hoped; that learning nothing about how to live my life was in itself, in fact, a lesson in how to live your life. Ultimately, we are all as clueless as one another when it comes to which foot to put forward. People throughout your journey are constantly telling you what they perceive is the best way to live it, but ultimately it is just that – a perception. The CEO of a company has just as equal of an interpretation of how one should live their life as the chaiwala. Undoubtedly they are going to be different interpretations, but in the end no one knows whose is better or worse.

 

We grappled on a daily basis, from Kolkata to Goa, as to whether or not we should give to beggars, and if we were to, would it be in the form of water, food or just a simple ten rupee note. There really is no right answer to these kinds of situations. Therefore, it is entirely up to the individual how they want to live their life, where they want to go, what they want to do, who they want to do it with and, most importantly, why they do what they do – you’re just as ‘right’ as every other person who thinks they have it all worked out. In learning nothing, so to speak, I learnt the most important ‘something’ of my life.

 

I went to India using my head, thinking and pondering every aspect of life. But “the simple and astonishing truth about India and Indian people is that when you go there, and deal with them, your heart always guides you more wisely than your head.” The Indian people made me realise that sometimes it is good to:

 

“dance with wildness

and let the ecstasy fill you

to the tips of your fingers and toes

without cautioning us

to be careful

to be realistic

to remember the limitations

of being human”.

 

The paradoxical thing about this is that, again, it is entirely just my interpretation and ultimately I will never know if I am right or not.

 

For now, however, it is my line in the Goa sand.