It’s hard to believe that the trip was a whole month ago. It seems like only yesterday that I had my arms full of ‘genuine’ merchandise and my eyes wide with wonder. I continue to have vivid flashbacks of our adventures, and still have a fitting story to suit every occasion. While my memories are still very clear, I do feel a strange ache, wishing to be back with the crew, wandering a crammed Indian street.
Although I haven’t provided myself with ample amounts of time to ponder and draw conclusions, something which I think will indeed take up a large chunk of my spare time over the coming months, I have summarised a few thoughts that seem to have emerged.
If life really is as simple as friendship, food, love and laughter (something I am beginning to believe more and more in), why have so many of us complicated it with inconsequential things? Why should we let ourselves feel jealous, when jealousy comes so often from things out of our control? These things needn’t concern us now, as there is so much to live for today.
The first few days back in New Zealand were pretty tough. I struggled to come to terms with the empty, quiet roads and the frustrating amount of wealth that is so obvious here. As I become more and more used to the NZ again, my waves of unease are becoming fewer, but strangely more powerful each time. I was recently in the supermarket with Dad shopping for groceries, and I had a sudden surge of guilt and anger at myself, while standing in the aisle, for spending several minutes debating whether to choose Bluebird or Doritos.
It really feels like I have emerged from this trip having fallen short of my own expectations. I assumed before I left that I would return a strong man with a direction and life already planned out for myself. Inevitably I have come out completely the opposite. I have very little idea of what degree I want to do, and seem to have far more questions than answers. In a way, I’m quite excited about this, not only because it leaves the door open for more journeys, but also because discovering the answers to my many questions is what has made India so special, and I am truly so grateful that I have left, being able to take a little bit of its magic back home with me, just so the story may continue.
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